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Revealed! The Real Reason We Get FatRevealed! The Real Reason We Get Fat
UniqueMystique said: "by Dr. Matthew Anderson
Exclusive for eDiets.com
Most people believe that food makes a person fat. Technically this assumption is correct, but it is only a small part of the truth. The real source of fat is your thinking. Here is how it works:
Thoughts cause feelings.
Some thoughts cause unpleasant feelings.
Some unpleasant feelings are so intense that you think you cannot bear them.
Unbearable feelings cause you to overeat to kill them. One of the most fat-provoking thoughts is that life is scary. When you feel afraid of life, you have a tendency to overeat.
Let’s back up for a moment and look at this issue more deeply. Why are we afraid of the unknown? What is so terrible about not knowing? Why do so many of us have to know the what-when-how of things? Basically there is only one answer: We think we have to be in control.
We go nuts if we can’t control airline schedules, waits in doctors’ offices, movie lines or traffic backed up for an accident. We want everything now, now, now and we cannot tolerate the idea that we may not be able to make things go faster or better.
We pay billions of dollars each year for books, CDs and tapes that promise us the ability to control our destinies. We are so desperate for new techniques to control every aspect of our lives that we are often suckers for outrageous claims like, “Lose 50 pounds in three weeks and never gain it back” or “Change your entire life in one weekend with our breathing techniques.” The list of miracle control programs is endless.
Why do we think control is so important? The answer to this question is complex but I am going to offer a simple explanation that will at least move us in the right direction.
We think control is important because we don’t trust anything or anybody, including ourselves. We have lost faith in religion, government, authority of all kinds and people in general. We have become obsessed (maybe the right word is possessed) with doubt and cynicism and expect the worst instead of the best as a general rule.
Once trust and faith are no longer options, we try the next best thing – control. I have heard the same comment from hundreds of chronic overeaters: “Food is the only thing I can control in my life. Every other aspect of my life is chaos.” Ironically, those of us who make this statement are the very ones who end up being totally controlled by food. Our eating patterns are completely out of our control.
If you think I am becoming religious here with this talk about faith and trust you are wrong. It is a psychological truth that the loss of the ability to have faith and trust in anything and anyone always produces a desperate need to control. If I can’t trust you to take care of business then I must take over and do it myself (control), otherwise who knows what could happen.
I suppose that you would like a suggestion about what to do about this pervasive and often fat-producing problem. Don’t worry, I wouldn’t let you down. But as usual, it will require some work on your part. Learning to deal with the unknown, learning to trust and learning to let go of your need to control is not an easy task. Here are a few suggestions for getting started.
Accept it. There is very little about your life that you have ever been able to control and in spite of that, you have gotten this far. This may be difficult to face at first but ultimately it is liberating. Generally speaking, control is an illusion. We have far less of it than we like to imagine. But you are still here and you are OK. Why wouldn’t you assume that your life will probably continue on in generally the same fashion?
Notice it. Maybe you haven’t noticed that life works without your input. The sun shines, gravity works, night is followed by day, plants grow, etc. A zillion important and necessary things occur each moment of every day that support your life and wellbeing. You have no effect on them and yet they work, and work well.
Learn to let it go. Practice saying a mantra to yourself everyday: “I let go of everything I cannot control and I trust that all will be well.” Say it even if you don’t fully trust it at first. You will get better at it and you will find that you are more relaxed and at peace. Besides, what choice do you have anyway?
Matthew Anderson, D. Min., is a counselor, organizational consultant and seminar leader. He lives and works in Boca Raton, Florida."