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Home >> Diet Forums >> self talk and stress

self talk and stress

Heather said: "That's a neat idea. Another thing that might be worth trying is doing affirmations. Instead of thinking negatively say something positive. Some that might work for you: "Let go and let God." "Everyone and everything prospers me now." ..or make up one that works for you.. These little things can help negate the "self critic" that lives in all of us."

spectrachic311 said: "I have what I call "stinkin' thinkin'" every so often...negative thoughts about my body and myself. I have what I call my "coping box" which is a shoebox full of things I like to do: cross stitch, bake a dessert for someone else, play my clarinet, play fetch with my dog, etc. When I feel negative about things, I pull something out of my coping box and it distracts me from thinking negatively about things. Also, what has helped me tremendously in feeling good about my body is looking at myself naked every day. It helps me to get familiar with ALL of my body and I can appreciate the good parts of my body (like my sexy shoulders and lovely legs) as well as the not so good parts (my little poochy tummy, my fat ankles, my disfigured feet, etc). Oh, and it helps me to not feel self conscious during sex too; which is a nice little side benefit. I also try not to read those celebrity gossip magazines about who is skinnier or who's gained weight, etc. It kind of triggers a negative response in my head when I find out that so-and-so is weighs X lbs and is basically boobs on a stick. It makes me strive for unrealistic goals, like wanting to be 6' tall with long skinny legs."

DBrew said: "Are you talking TO yourself in your mind or are you hearing a voice you can not control? Alot of people hear voices. I was just reading an interesting article in Psychology Today about that. Alot of people choose to just let the voices speak and ignore the negativity. When I am negatively self talking to myself, I try to stop and say,"no no, I am worth as much as everybody else. I would never talk to anyone else this way why should I talk to myself this way> I love myself and from this moment on, wuill do my best to treat myself with the loving kindness I show others". Echo, you show us all loving kindness. Unless you are hearing voices, you can change and control your self talk."

DBrew said: "Spectra, you make me laugh! I am sure your feet are not disfigured! They can not be worse than mine. I got the gift of having a second toe that is longer than the first. And, at your weight, it is probably a pleasure to look in the mirror while naked. I think your box idea is pretty cool,though. I do stuff like that but do not keep it in a box. Dont you guys feel bad about making desserts for someone else knowing you would not eat something like that yourselves? It is strange logic to me."

Diamond said: "Thats a really cool box. Did you make it yourself?"

mahesh67 said: "i have been doing yoga for one month. it seems to slow down the internal conversation and relaxes me. :th_dblthumb2:"

help6363 said: "Emma:th_dblthumb2: beautiful Emma I think you and I are birds of the same feather! :) Put down in my head...... all the time. What do I do? 1. Challenge myself- take on new things and just prove to myself I can do them! There are loads of courses 2. Self talk - say to yourself STOP when a thought pops into your head. Replace that thought with a positive one. 3. Positive affirmations - Lakelady posted some a while ago. She called it put in on your bathroom mirror (I think - it was in the Water Cooler) 4. Get busy - join groups, volunteer (looks great on your resume) Emma, you are beautiful, smart, a wonderful mother and you are married. You (like me) are battling a weight loss journey.... it's a tough journey but I knew from the first time I read your weight loss post that you would be successful! You have inner strength and you have been through an enormous amount. You have the strength, you have the courage and most of all you have the beauty (both inner and outer) to beat this! I wish I could tell you not to worry but I know that does not work. I would set goals .... dream (set NO boundries) and achieve those goals! You are very good at making things, ever thought of making that into a side business? I know a woman that has a side bussiness like that..... she makes a good second income. It's just an idea.... I have plenty of ideas (most of them are probably silly but I am trying to help). How about a course? My friend did an IT course and works in the IT field a couple of days a week - she has children. Please Emma.... challenge yourself..... show the world how great you are. Show yourself how great you are. With everything you have been through you can do anything.... you have the heart and the mind. Well... I think I may be starting to dribble now. However, let me know how you are going and if you ever want to chat I have IM. Chin up! You will beat this! I know you will!:th_dblthumb2:"

help6363 said: "Emma I know.....my second post..... aaaaaarrrrrrrrgggggghhhhhh Listen sweetie, you are great! There are so many people in this world that like to put others down, there are so many people in this world that like to hold people back...... don't do it to yourself! If you do those people have won. You are a MOTHER. MOTHERS are strong, reliable, protective...... my point is simple: YOU ARE ALREADY GREAT YOU NEED TO BELIEVE! I would love to be a mother and a wife - I just cannot find a man who will agree to stay with me longer than 5 minutes:roll: I don't even know what I am saying anymore. I think I just like to talk for the sake of talking sometimes!!!! Write down everything YOU want to be and then make a list of how you can change yourself into that person. Complete everything on the list. That's my last idea..... PROMISE"

lakelady said: "Em, I've kinda lost the thread of the conversation here, so my answer may be a little off. Have you read the 'brighter future' thing by gizmonel? It' comes off as a bunch of psycho-babble to me, but basically he (she/it) is talking about daydreaming or fantasizing. The branch of psychology he mentions is very real (although hardly new) and has long held that fantasies are a 'release valve' for us all. Everyone holds conversations with themselves in their head. You're not nuts. The thing to do when you start telling yourself the negative things is to catch yourself at it and change the course of it, the 'ending' if you will. Talk to yourself and lead the story to where you'd LIKE it to be. 'fantasize' the desireable ending. You'll find yourself feeling better almost immediately."

lakelady said: "EM, what a GREAT idea! I bet this turns into a valuable tool for you! 'brew, On what I now call my 'big' diet, the one where I lost 100 pounds, making elaborate dishes and giving them away was one of my most valuable tools. I'm one of those women who loses her appetite as she cooks. I hardly eat anything at holiday meals for example. (but, BOY! do I ever enjoy the leftovers!)"

echoecho said: "Self–talk is the talk that goes on in your head. When you are faced with any thing that’s going on. I have a running commentary about everything I do. It never lets anything go by with out some comment, remark. This is really bugging me. It’s like a second person in my head. Saying loads of thing. I have constant barrage of negative thoughts, judgments and evaluations on every thing. Which keep me feeling stressed and less able to meet my diet and fitness challenges. The self –talk just seems to take over my thoughts process. This is very tiring to battle this every time and I end up giving in. I heard them all my life; I'm not smart enough, something is wrong, I can't do it, I never finish anything, this is too hard, change takes too long, etc. I feel this is where I go wrong. I know there is no getting rid of it. I just have to learn how to manage my mind thought process. Does any one have any ideas or kind of have the same thing that going on? OR have you learn how to by pass this and how ? Em x-x-x"

echoecho said: "help Thanks YOU ARE ALL SO A GREAT PERSON. :D As for getting a man. IT will come with time. They say there some one for every one. I found my man when i was not looking. He kinda creaped up on me. Try not to be so hard on your self too. The idears are great:th_dblthumb2: Em x-x-x-x"

echoecho said: "I am talking to my self (It’s in my head not out side my head.) Thanks DBrew i know i can do it. It's just how to go about this? Em x-x-x"

echoecho said: "LAKELADY No your not way off at all. Well i have a look. Thanks for the responding to this. :D EM x-x-x"

echoecho said: "spectrachic311, you really do have some cool idears :) thanks I go out and buy some goodies to put in my new coping box. I have to let you know what i put in the box. Thanks again Em x-x-x"

echoecho said: "[QUOTE=echoecho]spectrachic311, you really do have some cool idears :) thanks I go out and buy some goodies to put in my new coping box. I have to let you know what i put in the box. Thanks again Em x-x-x[/QUOTE] This is my new coping/happy box [IMG][URL=http://imageshack.us][IMG]http://img525.imageshack.us/img525/7418/mlna0023mn4.jpg[/IMG][/URL][/IMG] [IMG][URL=http://imageshack.us][IMG]http://img525.imageshack.us/img525/4278/mlna0026id9.jpg[/IMG][/URL][/IMG] I need to add a few things to it. Also i have drawn a few pic on the top of the lid. I also have put a poem on there. Standing by me all the way, Hear to help me through out the day, Holding me up when i am week, Helping me fine what i seek, When i cry Helping me through when the tied is high, Showing your love, When you talk, Standing by me when i learn to walk, In the box i have a book that my son got me for mothers day, my favourite kids story book, some pamper stuff for the bath, candles, relaxation cd, photoes and some old cards from friends. Em x-x-x"

BestinTess said: "I know that I'm a newb but when it comes the realm of psychosis...I'm a veteran, even at my mere 26 years of age. I know what you mean about a constant conversation in your head. Mine boggs down my decision making...."if I do this then this will happen...you don't want that to happen, that's dumb. You can't do that...try this option instead...no, that's dumb, that won't work..." and the constant "look at you...of course you hardly have friends...you're intolerable to be around...you're fat and unattractive and boring. You are too weird for others to want to be around." ...However... There is an author by the name of David D. Burns who writes a series of self-help books...I have a copy of "Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy". It goes over how to combat those negative feelings. Basically, it gives you the tools to turn around and talk back (in your head) to the Negative Nancy that resides within. His theories make you take a realistic look at the ridiculous and convoluted ideas that people can have...like if you hear a pack of girls behind you giggling...I usually think they're laughing at me...but in all reality, they're probably laughing at joke they're sharing amongst themselves. And just knowing that helps me ease up when I'm in public...I can step back and look at what is really going on...not what the Negative Nancy in my head is telling me. I encourage you to check it out..."

whizkid said: "There are many differences among people and many similarities among people. This self talk that you describe happens with everyone but people are aware of it to different degrees. Now what this self talk is about is the differences among people. You can also call this self talk thinking. But most thinking is a waste of time. For example: look at that lady on the bus. She is so fat and has a gigantic butt. Why doesn't she try to do something about it. I hope that tomorrow it is not as hot etc. etc. etc. What is up with etc. It is not popular anymore. After the play, [I]The King and I[/I] and the movie with Yul Brenner, it was very popular. And what is up with that baseball team. Why do we have a war in Iraq? Why does America grow food with pesticides when it is illegal in Russia to do so. You get the idea. Psychology has studied this and found people can experience the flow and this stops and they feel perfect peace and happier than they ever felt. Ways that help with this are yoga and martial arts and different things for different people. But the best way is meditation. Then you are facing this self talk with no distractions and it can feel worse than ever. To read an article about this and being happy called WHAT IS ENLIGHTENMENT, do a Google search for "enlightenment seligman jet li" and it should come up first. Dr Seligman was president of the American Psychological Association and China declared Jet Li a national treasure. The psychological definition of the [I]flow[/I] is the opposite or solution to the self talk you describe.:)"

RudyOrtiz67 said: "I started to listen to Louise Hay affirmation series of audiotapes on Ipod. I tell you it has boosted my self esteem."

bbking33 said: "Stress is the ultimate but silent killer. But it can be beat with the simplest but outrageous ways. :D [I][B] body-philosophy.net/outrageous_stress_relieving_gadgets_eliminate_stress_cortisol[/B][/I] Or you can try drinking calming green tea regularly. It does wonders to the stress and anxiety levels."