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This is too funny,This is too funny,
helplesscase said: "Hahaha, that was pretty funny. :D"
theirmom said: "I just had to post this, got it in my e-mail,it is kinda long but you will be cracking up by the end of it.. :)
> > Please read before you get the urge to get ready for summer.
> >
> > All methods have tricked women with their promises of easy, painless
>removal
> > - The epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now...the wax.
> >
> > My night began as any other normal weekday night. Come home fix dinner,
> > played with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully
>in
> > my mind for the next few hours: Maybe I should pull the wax out of the
> > medicine cabinet. So I headed to the site of my demise; the bathroom. It
> > was one of those cold wax kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just
> > rub the strips together in your hand and then they get warm and you peel
> > them apart press it to your leg (or wherever else) and hair comes right
> > off. No muss, no fuss How hard can it be? I mean I'm no girly, girl but
>I
> > am mechanically inclined enough I can figure it out.
> >
> >
> > So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other
> > stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, I get out the hair
> > dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees.
> >
> > Cold wax my a-- (Oh how this phrase haunts me!)
> >
> > I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull.
> >
> > OK so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this!
> >
> > Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am Sheera, fighter of all wayward
> > body hair and smooth skin extrodinaire.
> >
> > With my next wax strip I move north.
> >
> > After checking on the kids I sneak back into the bathroom, for the
> > ultimate hair fighting championship. I drop my panties and place one
>foot
> > on the toilet. Using the same procedure I apply the was strip across the
> > right side of bikini line, covering the right half of my vagina and
> > stretching down to the inside of my butt cheek (Yes, it was a long
>strip)!
> >
> > I inhale deeply and brace myself.
> >
> > RRRRIIIPPP!!!!
> >
> > I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!....Vision returning, I notice that
> > I've only managed to pull off half of the strip. Another deep breath and
> > RRIIPP.
> >
> > Everything is swirly and spotted. Do I hear crashing drums???
> >
> > OK, back to normal. I want to see my trophy - my wax covered pelt that
> > has caused me so much pain. I want to revel in the glory that is my
> > triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip but there is no hair on it.
> >
> > Where is the wax???
> >
> > Slowly I eased my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the
> > hair...The hair that should be on the strip. I touch. I am touching wax!
> >
> > I peel my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body that is now
> > covered in cold wax and matted hair and then make the next big mistake..
> > remember my foot is still propped up on the toilet.
> >
> > I know I need to move to do something. So I put my foot down and then I
> > hear the slamming of the cell door. Vagina? Sealed shut. A-- ?? Sealed
> > shut.
> >
> > I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and
> > think to myself "I hope I don't get the urge to "go potty". My head may
> > pop off!!
> >
> > Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I'll run the hottest water I can
>stand,
> > the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off right???
> >
> > WRONG
> >
> > I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than then that used to
> > torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit.
> >
> > Now the only thing worse that having your business glued together is
> > having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub. In
> > scalding hot water. Which by the way doesn't melt the cold wax.
> >
> > So now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub!!
> >
> > I call my friend thinking surely she's waxed before and has some secret
> > of how to get me undone. Its a very good conversation starter "So,my
>butt
> > and cooch are stuck to the bottom of the tub!"
> > She doesn't have a secret trick but does try to hide the laughter from
>me.
> >
> > She wants to know exactly where is the wax on the butt "Are we talking
> > cheeks or what?" She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her.
> >
> > I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of
> > the box .YEAH Right!! I could be the joke of some one elses night.
> >
> > While we go through various solutions. I result in scraping the wax off
> > with a razor. Nothing feels better then to have your girlie goodies
> > covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and
> > then dry shaving the sticky wax off!!
> >
> > I then find the most beautiful saving grace.... that is the lotion they
> > give you to remove the excess wax. I rub some and scream "IT works!! It
> > works!!
> > I get a hearty congratulations from my friend and she hangs up.
> > I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my
> > dismay.
> >
> > The hair is still there...all of it. So I shaved the stuff off.
> > Hell, I'm numb at this point. Then I put the wax back in the medicine
> > cabinet, I may have a mustache that needs work someday.
> >
> > Next week I'm going to try hair color.......
> >"
bound_inamorata said: "I laughed so hard I cried!...I think I'll stick with my razor!"