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Home >> Diet Forums >> Honest reflections wanted

Honest reflections wanted

spectrachic311 said: "I kind of had similar issues with my sis. All through high school, she was slim and I was overweight. She ALWAYS had boys asking her out while I never even went on a date all through high school. Once, when we were shopping, she thought we should buy a pair of jeans to "share" and said "You can fit into a size 2, right?" Which prompted me to slap her in the face right there in the mall. Yeah, I know that was immature, but it HURT MY FEELINGS. I'm sure you're feeling the same way towards your sister. Right now, my sis is a bit heavier than she's ever been and she constantly is asking me for nutrition and exercise advice. It does make me feel pretty good that I'm now the skinny one, but I try not to be mean to her because that would only make things worse. It also never helped that my mom's always thought my sister was "healthy" while I was either "too fat" or "anorexic looking". It's mildly annoying, but I'm pretty sure that my mom just thinks I'm underweight because she doesn't actually know how much I do weigh. I look lighter than I am, I suppose. Is there a reason your sis has gained so much weight? Offer her your advice, but try to be diplomatic about it. My sister takes my advice now only because I'm living proof that it works. And she doesn't always take my advice...I told her that my workouts involve running and she refuses to run, so she does other stuff instead. With any luck, you'll be able to help your sister return to a healthier weight and maybe help mend your relationship."

DBrew said: "Help, the two of you are vicious! I am glad my sis and I are not that way. I think both of you should try genle encouragement and lose the belittling ways. She is the only her and you are the only you and life is too short to be petty. Yes, she DID start this treatment but you should step up and be the better person. To me, showing the most kindness you can and surprising someone with wisdom and compassion can be better revenge than deliberately trying to get it. I go for turning the other cheek and killing them with kindness. This way, you remain blameless and if you ever regain weight, hopefully she would return your graciousness. Maybe you could offer to take her to the GYM with you sometime."

klynnfosh said: "I have to agree with Angel that you should talk to your mom and sis. Tell them how you felt in the past and how you feel now. It will be a hard reality check for them to know they were not supportive when you needed it from them. You can be the better person by doing so and by also offering to help your sister out if she wants or will accept the advice. You might even become closer than you can imagine. I believe families should stick together when possible and lend a supportive shoulder when times of trouble come. If it is too painful for you then keep your distance. You really are just putting yourself on their level when you say hurtful things to them as they did you, you are a better person than that Michelle and the one thing you have learned is that you can stand on your own two feet! Try to give them help and if they don't want it then you can at least say you tried to help."

angel_rising said: "I know the first situation all to well. My sister is always on me about my weight. She even called me a "thing" infront quite a few people. It really hurts, and I dont know why she does it. See in my situation she was also extremely overweight. Infact she weight 50 pounds more than I do now. I dont know why she cant remember what it was like when she was overweight. I never made any rude comments to her. I was overweight at that time too. I think you need to ask your mom and you sister, if they have ever thought about how all the comments that they used to make when you were heavy made you feel. I think you need to tell what exactly they put you through. Tell them how they hurt you, and that they are still doing it now by saying you are obssessed. Nothing will get solved unless you tell them how you feel Good Luck with the entire situation. Angel"

Diamond said: "That's a difficult situation. Even though my sisters were always smaller than me I don't remember them ever calling me fat. They always stole my clothes! On the other hand, I remember some people saying "You have such a beautiful face." which I always took as an insult. I mean what about the rest of me? Sometimes people can be rude and maybe not even be aware of it."

help6363 said: "Hello :) I really just want some HONEST reflection from the situation that I have described below. It is rather long winded and for that I apologise, however I feel I have done nothing wrong. Yet others believe that I have. Here’s the situation: When I was really obese, my sister was skinny and I mean celebrity skinny and she made me feel bad about myself deliberately. For example, she would take me to a club and ask men which one of us was hotter, of course they would say her. She would tell me that I am too fat, she would say, ‘you can borrow my clothes, oh I don’t think you could squeeze into them!’ She would get my mum on side and they would both give me a hard time.:angry: I will not elaborate on the examples because I feel you all know what I am talking about. Fast forward 5 years….. My sister is grossly obese and I am near my target weight. Her husband put on 2 kilograms and she placed him on diet in fear that he would become fat. She is so judgemental, so I told her that she needs a diet and I started throwing the SAME lines in her face that she used on me 5 years ago. Sadly, I really liked using those lines on her. :signs053: Everyone thinks I am immature and that I focus on weight too much. How come when she’s fat it does not matter but when she’s skinny weight is an issue? Okay, I can understand that I have been immature because I liked throwing those horrible lines in her face that she used on me. However, I think that it’s wrong to go ‘it does not matter about weight’ or ‘you focus too much on weight’ when they all mocked me about it for years. In either case: I sent her a thank you card, she inspires me to go the gym and I get out all my pent up anger about those comments by doing exercise."

help6363 said: "Gosh, you are so much more mature than me! :signs053: My family will not listen, so there really isn't a point in talking to them, in a 'ideal world' it may work but that's not my family. Don't get me wrong, I love my family but they are never going to change, I can only ever accept them. Thanks for all your advice, you are all so beautiful! :) My point was why the double standard. It's so important (the whole great body) when she's skinny but she becomes obese and it's suddenly a problem for people to work out, watch their diet and ........... oh, I get it beacuse she's insecure. Huh... she's insecure and not facing the problem. Is that it?"

lakelady said: "AAAHHH siblings! Aren't they fun? Sometimes I think the chinese have it right by allowing only one child per family!:roll: I don't know why sibs pick on each other but I suspect your sis felt that you were getting more attention than she was and picked on you to make herself feel better. As for your actions now, they're not immature, they're HUMAN. So sis has discovered that it's not so easy to stay slender when she got older eh? Since it was so easy for her before, she now has no clue of how to manage her weight and that's why she's fat. Tell her about us help, we''ll help pick on her...eerrr....I MEANT [U][U][I]HELP [/I][/U][/U]her!:th_SmlyROFL:"

DrCOOL959 said: "Its funny how it is a joke and everything is cool until the shoe is on the other foot then its not so funny anymore."

**Shorti** said: "I feel yah all the way. My sis has always been the skinny, model type. and I always the chunky younger sister. While they never openly picked on me like that they were always so sensative about my weight, caring comments here and there can hurt as well. However even though I am still bigger i have been noticing lately that people are taking my nutritional advice. So even though I am not the skinny one I think my family believes that I do know more than them about eating right and nutrition. Mainly because it is a daily battle with me so I had to do the research and such. My sister has always been a meat and potatoes kidn of girl. Now that she is about to hit 40 and has 2 small children I can educate HER on some stuff. I still love her, but I will probably always envy her and that's my problem not hers. And I know she will always envy be a bit for being younger and having more advantages than she did at my age. It will all balance out in the end. Its hard to be the better person, and we all know you have it in you to become 'better' :th_coolio:"