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Advice?!?!?!?Advice?!?!?!?
shrkntz said: "I was thinking that maybe you could suggest to him to go on walks once a day with you. It gets you both out and maybe it will make him enjoy some form of excercise. Maybe you could go for a bike ride together if he likes to bike. Hubby's are so hard to deal with when your on a mission. Once you can sneak it in his regiman heheh there is easier ways of sneaking more excercise in. He will get used to doing things."
4tun8 said: "Invite him to the gym to [B]watch [/B] you workout using your sexiest voice. Then wear one of your best new workout outfits and enjoy yourself (while getting your exercise and thinking sexy thoughts - if that's possible!)
Then while you are cuddling at home - letting him feel your new muscles - tell him what a turn on it would be for you to watch him workout! I bet he'll run all the way to the gym. (My husband would probably ride his bike!)
I KNOW why they use sex appeal in so much advertising - because it works!
Good luck!
Jen"
DLT said: "Since he doesn't want to on walks (excercise) maybe you should go out by yourself walking and come back to the home laughing, and cheerful and make up this imaginary man that you met out walking. Do this for a few walks, even tell him how he reminds you of your husband because he had been diagnosed with high blood pressure and he was out walking. Make the story as elaborate as you want. I bet it won't be long until he wants to go walking."
Heather said: "Maybe try hitting him with a dose of "some real"
Tell him that you want him to live a long life, that you have a family to care for
and you want him to live well for the rest of your days...and in order to live well, you have to have the best health that you can. A lot of times, once your health starts failing, it is doctors from then on.
Doctor bills can really tax a familys income, and could affect you financially as well.
Even the most stubborn man might have to evaluate his lifestyle with a little bit of a caring, "bigger picture" statement from a loving wife..
Good luck!"
Heather said: "I guess that if nothing works, you are left to lead by example.
You can't make someone change their ways if they are not willing to.
Stay true to your own plan, and maybe he will follow your lead.
If not, he can sit on the couch for the rest of his life, but I would have to say that is one boring life to lead.
I turned the TV off completely about a month ago. Don't miss it, don't care about the marketing messages at all. Don't care about the next American Idol.
I want to live and the idiot box is not a great tool for life living.
Just my opinion, though.."
Heather said: "Watching sporting events to me is not finding the glory (or the money) in your own abilities.
Do they have adult sports teams in your neck of the woods? I know around here you can sign up for adult baseball, volloyball, tennis, just about anything.."
Heather said: "Maybe he will have an epiphany on his own.
I will keep you in my thoughts. In the meantime, keep doing your own thing and when you put your bathing suit on for the beach he'll have to wonder what in the heck he was thinking!"
helplesscase said: "Keep bugging him about it until he finally gives in. Tell him about all the risks.
Hope this helps..."
UniqueMystique said: "Anyone got any ideas on how to convince a husband that was just diagnosed with high blood pressure that he needs to get more active? He blows me off when I suggest anything to him. He's losing weight by cutting carbs but for some reason doesn't think that he needs any exercise. Ya gotta love spouses! :rolleyes:"
UniqueMystique said: "Let's see....he likes to watch NASCAR, fishing, and the food network while sitting on his butt and having a few drinks. He likes bass fishing and riding his motorcycle. He doesn't like to do anything that's going to make him exert himself. Mowing the lawn is about it...and that's not often enough. He played sports all through school and says that he's exercised enough to last him a lifetime and that he's not going ot do it.
Now how do you get him out of this mindset????"
UniqueMystique said: "Okie Dokie....here goes....
I've talked with him about all the risks. I get eyes rolled at me and an attitude.
I've tried shocking him into reality and telling him that his kids need him around. I get a stern look and a "Don't you think I know that?" So I tell him that I don't see him doing anything to change things....so he will go mow the yard or something. That's it and then he's in a pissy mood for the rest of the day.
He has no interest in doing anything that resembles exercise or work with me and if he does do something with me...he's so danged grumpy that it's not fun or rewarding.
We have absolutely nothing in common anymore except for the children. I like to go, go, go...he prefers to sit, sit, sit!
I've begged and pleaded for him to join the gym with me and work out with me. He first told me that he wanted to drop some weight first. I agreed to let him do that. Then when I brought it up again....he said that all he 'might' be interested in doing is walking the track. There isn't a track at my gym! I've since asked him to go walk the high school track with me and I get, "Maybe later."
Sex doesn't work with him. I don't think he's the typical, normal man. I can prance around in something sexy or nothing at all...all I get is, "You in the way of the tv." We're total opposites in this area.
I've mentioned other men wanting to befriend me and help me at the gym. He rolls his eyes and goes back to watching his shows. Like he thinks I'm making things up. It's true though.
He doesn't eat that poorly now. He could probably cut down on his portions some but he has and is still losing weight. He just isn't very fit or toned looking.
I can't really reward him because if there's something that he wants or wants to do...he typically goes and does it. He is doing a weight challege with his sister and brother-in-law and for the most part...he's taking all their money.
I just don't know how to motivate someone like this. It's very hard and frustrating. At least I know what I have t do for myself and I know that I will have done everything in my power to be here for my children."
UniqueMystique said: "Ha Ha Ha Ha!!!!
We'll be married 15 years come August....been together 19 years altogether. The kids are soon to be 10 and 3.
We used to do everything together....now there's no comomn interests. Just weird, ya know?"
UniqueMystique said: "That's funny...I'd probably give the same advice to someone else.
I have managed to get him to see a doc about his 'moods'. He went last week....that's when he found out about the high blood pressure. Meds are just zapping him and making him feel tired all the time now. He goes back next week for a follow up.
Somewhere along the way....he went and got old on me (he's only 38) and I didn't follow his lead (I'm 37). I still feel very young (about 23)....and Lord knows I can still act like a ditsy teenager when the mood strikes me. I'm adventurous...I like spontenaity! I hate being idle and doing nothing. I don't know how or when he got old on me...but he did. Good thing I have the kids to spend my energy on."
UniqueMystique said: "I agree ith you, Snap....I can't stand to watch the tv. Hard for me to sit still for that long anyhow. ;)"
UniqueMystique said: "Yes......we have some women's fast pitch softball teams. I used to manage one and play before the little one came. My husband actually coached my team one year. I went back and tried to play after the baby was born but that's when my husband had the kidney stones and I ended up having to quit because he felt like he couldn't take care of the kids while I was away at practices, etc.
We also have a men's flag football league but he would never get involved in that sort of thing. He played football from the time he was in elementary up until he graduated. He was in a gruelling program....the program was implemented from the first day he stepped on the field in elementary. If you've read the book (more accurate) or seen the movie (sensationalized) FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS....He was a part of that system. I went to the 'other school' across town and it wasn't pushed quite as hard as it was where he went....but it was still tough. Having been in this program from an early age is why he's resisting working out at all. I don't blame him for not wanting to because of his past....but I know he knows that he really needs to exercise.
Other than softball and flag football...that's about it for this area in the adult sports world."
UniqueMystique said: "*Smiles* Well....I've pretty much been doing my own thing for years now. And as for the bathing suit at the beach......he won't be joining us. Guess I'll have to model it before we leave for the beach. ;)"
iowamomma2002 said: "I had the same problem with my dad and then he saw that I was doing it and I was doing well and it made him have all the confidence that he could. Maybe ask him to workout with u. GO for walks and so on. OR better yet lol don't buy him different food then u haha"
Razor said: "How long have y'all been married? How old are your children?"
Razor said: "Well this may sound horrible, but I would threaten him. I would say
"hey look lazy ass. I am looking good and getting tight, and quite frankly pretty bored with your ass. So if you do not get your act together, get in shape and start doing something then I am out of here. And hey by the way how about making love to me every now and then because if you don't and Ilook the way I do, trust I will get it elsewhere"
Pretty bad huh?
No seriously..I am no marriage therapist by far, and frankly narrow minded people out there think I should never be married at all, but based on the people that have been together and happy for 1000 years that are close to me, the key is communication. Y'all got together for a reason. You just may need to find that reason again. Maybe some serious talking about where your relationship is these days will bring out the things you have had in common the whole time but forgot about and get him out there working out with you."
theirmom said: "I got my husband to get up and work out because my son wanted to join the fitness club..Between work and school, I could not take him so now my husband has a "date" with our oldest (he is 12) to work out. because an adult has to go with him.. :)"
Holly said: "Ha ha ha!!! I bet that would work. If I said that to my fiance, he would probably insist on escorting me on my future walks."
Holly said: "I hope things work out quickly. Maybe it is just a waiting game. I can see how I would have little patience in your situation, but that seems to be what you must fall back on (as far as keeping your cool). I applaud you for sticking to your healthy lifestyle and I'm glad you can do fun, physical stuff with your kids - it is nice to have partners in crime. ;)"
Qian said: "Is there a sport that he likes. I think one of the best workouts i ever had was when I went and walked 18 holes of golf. Even on a short course it works out to roughly 5 miles. You can carry clubs if you want, or get a walk cart, don't ride for a workout.
But, if there is a sport that two could do, learn the sport by having him teach you. That might work in getting him active. Once he starts, he probably won't want to stop."
Qian said: "You could always offer a reward too. Maybe since he likes NASCAR, make a deal that if he excercises 3x's a week for 4 months you'll get him passes for the Richard Petty Experience or to an actual race. $500 is worth a lifetime of health right? Unfortunately, it needs to be his decision to excercise, and whether it is by way of scare, sex, jealousy or reward, he still needs to say I'm going to do this."
Qian said: "Well, you know what they say, you can lead a horse to water. . .
I guess all you can do is go on doing what you're doing and hope he is impressed by the effects of it. Just set an example, and keep up the good work."