Home >>
Diet Forums >>
Getting what you always wanted.Getting what you always wanted.
chefgirlrd said: "Last Feb I went to the dr for weight loss. I lost 35 pnds and plattued,
so I chose to go on phentermine. I lost 25 more. by june. I was married for
8 yrs and lived with him for 7 before then. I never felt like he loved me.
I never felt special. I have always been fat. as a kid and all. This was
the most weight I had ever lost. I was wearing sizes I never could fit into.
Things changed for me when I had asked my hubby what he thought.
and he said to talk to him when I was under 200 pnds. I was devastated.
Here I had lost 60 pnds. I started to hate him. I was feeling good and
sexy, and he thought I looked the same. I went from size 24/26 to a 16.
I had gotten a new employee in april, he was everything I always liked in
a man. He was good looking, built,(he used to be a body builder and still
had the muscles) and nice. the first time he flexed his bicepts for me, I was lost. :o We started hanging out together, talking about
everything. We would sit on my deck and have a couple of drinks and
talk for hours. There was a bond. I told him I didnt want to be married
anymore and didnt want the house or anything. He said I would never do it.
So I made my plans. Before leaving on vacation to calif with hubby, I leased
a jeep wrangler-red- my dream car. (hubby wouldnt let me have one.
he wanted the new house first. There was always a reason) Buff guy
and I took it for a spin. We were happy, blasting music, feeling free.
I had never felt that way before. I left for vaca. and told the inlaws
I was leaving, didnt tell hubby yet. We got back, I leased an apartment
and moved out. Hubby cried and wanted me back. He knew I was seeing
buff guy. I thought buff guy was all I ever wanted, I loved the way he made
me feel, I loved the attention from him. Not to mention, the first time
he kissed me, My knees melted. It was so romantic. I thought even with
all his baggage, kids, ect, things would work out. Meanwhile hubby begged and pleaded. I had a breakdown, and went home for 2 weeks, hubby sent me.
He promised he changed, so we started dating again. In thinking I got what
I always wanted, I almost lost everything. As it is, I lost my dream house, and
am in a lot of debt. Hubby and I are back together, we went to counseling
and learned how to talk things out. I still miss buff guy, he gave me alot
of things emotional, and taught me that there was a different me that I never
knew. But at the same time, I still wonder if I would do it all over again.
I dont know."
chefgirlrd said: "I wouldnt have if he hadnt of changed. He is a different person now.
and it's been 6 months so far. But we are committed to working on
our marriage."
chefgirlrd said: "well, that and, You always think the grass is greener on the
other side. Or that you might alway think it would be great to
be with someone, but it really isnt all it's cracked up to be.
I guess I was just venting or whatever. :("
determinedtolose said: "Hey Chefgirlrd,
It sounds like you have been going through some major changes in your life. I
think it is great that you and your husband are working things out. Is he accepting of the person you are? Is he supporting you and encouraging you in your journey to weight loss? It takes a long time to heal from these types of wounds that you and your husband have inflicted on one another. Often the scars can be just as painful. Are you finished with counseling or are you still going? Communication and honesty is extremely important in your relationship. I only hope that the both of you are strong enough to heal from your ordeal. Stay strong and good luck"
pixiechic said: "i hope that everything works out for you and your husband."
USEDtobetiny said: "I hope things work out for you and your husband. Please be sure that you are staying for the right reasons. Your husband may have been feeling insecure about your relationship and sort of lashed out at you and rained on your parade because of it. That's not an excuse and it doesn't make it right, but sometimes our insecurities get the best of us, and as a result we hurt the people we love the most. If you feel that this may be the case with your husband, then be sure that you stay supportive of him and his goals, but be sure that he knows that his support of your goals is important also. He needs to know that a healthy life with HIM is your goal, and you need his support and encouragement along the way. Good for you for not giving up. As for buff guy, we all become wrapped up in what we think we want, and it's okay for you to miss him, he was part of your change. If you are positive that you made the right decision, then put your all into it. Thanks for sharing your story and keep us posted!!!!"
QueenBee said: "Be sure to follow your heart and learn from your mistakes.
I hope that everything works out for you. Sometimes buff guys aren't all they are cracked up to be!"
Heather said: "Thank you for sharing that story with us.
Sometimes what *seems* to be the answer to all of our problems, might not be.
Love yourself! It doesn't matter what your weight or your size is. It doesn't matter what others think of you either. It sounds like you learned a lesson in one of the hardest ways possible.
Good luck to you.."
Darren said: "What's the moral of the story? That buff guys aren't all they're cracked up to be."
helplesscase said: "You shouldn't have went back to your husband after the way he treated you. I know I wouldn't have.... :mad:"