How Guilt Makes Us Over Eat
August 22, 2006 – 11:27 pmby Rhonda
In continuation of the series of articles on the psychological training and emotional issues that cause weight gain, today’s topic is about feeling guilty about eating. This issue includes both children and adults. In the 1st article in this series, I talked about learning to both console and reward myself with food. That particular training has a direct effect on why I and others feel guilty about eating. In today’s fitness conscious world, if you are overweight, you may be looked at in disgust by many of those who don’t have a weight problem. Not all of them, but enough to cause you emotional harm. I personally have gone into restaurants and gotten these very looks. I’ve gotten the same looks at the grocery store and even worse ones from health care professionals. I sometimes think I should wear a sign that says, I KNOW I’M OVERWEIGHT BUT I’M WORKING ON IT!!! Not that that would stop them, but it would at least make me feel better. I had the same issue as a child. The looks I’ve gotten from adults are nothing compared to the torture I received in elementary school. Aside from the myriad of names that I and other overweight children were called, going into the lunch room to eat and knowing the comments I’d get was nerve wracking. It didn’t matter that I had the same amount of food on my plate that everyone else had. I still heard, “Why do you eat so much?” and “Why don’t you go on a diet?” Adults get these same questions by well meaning friends and relatives. One old stand by is, “You have such a pretty face. If you lost some weight, you’d be beautuful.” These types of remarks make you feel guilty about eating. So, begins the sneak eating. I know I’m not alone out there. How many of you have gone out and not ordered much food or just ate a little of it and took the rest home and gorged yourself? In the privacy of your own home, you can eat as much as you want. Of course, while you’re wolfing down your food of choice, you feel guilty while you’re doing it and know that you should stop. Unfortunately, part of the reason you can’t stop is the very reason that you continue to eat, which would be guilt. To add to the matter, you console yourself by eating more. It’s time to start to reprogram our brains. I’m sure you have all heard of affirmations. I am going to begin adding them to the posts. Affirmations have been proven to help change a way of thinking. Say each one 10 times and begin to reprogram your brain. We’ll talk more about affirmations at a later date. Today’s affirmation is I don’t have anything to feel guilty about. Remember to say it 10 times. You’ve got nothing to lose but guilt. -Rhonda
11 Responses to “How Guilt Makes Us Over Eat”
So true. I actually hate eating in public for that reason, and I’m not even overweight. But I get guilty or feel self-conscious knowing that people can see what I’m eating and judge me based on that. A lot of times, I’ll be out with my husband and if I ever order something more substantial than a salad, the waitress always makes a comment like “Wow, you can really eat!” Gee, thanks. Doesn’t everybody eat?? That’s why it’s so irritating when I see people make fun of overweight people who are yeah, basically just eating. It’s not like it’s an activity that you can just stop doing, you know.
By Spectra on Aug 23, 2006
I know what you mean Spectra. I’ve gone into restaurants and asked for a soda, just to have the waitress say, did u want a diet one? People are rude but its good to know that there are also people like you ;-D Peace
By Rhonda on Aug 24, 2006
Really, people need to mind their business.
Almost no one is in great shape. The biggest thing to do is to be confident in yourself and try and ignore ignorant people.
By Darren on Aug 24, 2006
In the 27 years of my life, I have battled weight gain since I was 8 years old. All of a sudden, I went from ‘what a beautiful girl’ to ‘ what the hell r u eating girl?’. I have consistently been guilty of eating infront of people and in restaurants. When I am alone, I feel better when I eat and end up eating so much and bienging. I feel obligated to explain my eating habits even when nobody asks me to. My biggest pain is that everybody expects me to stay this way and I might never be able to lose this excess weight. I am currently obese although I am a british size 18. I live in Reykjavik Iceland, and I have tried to find girls that can support and help me with my weight issues, but sometimes I am scared and sometimes they are scared or feel that they are not as fat as I am and I might be searching for support from the wrong person. I have tried finding chat rooms and forums and I am still trying to find where I would be able to fit in. I am a loner and I need to get out and meet people and change my habits, but the truth is I feel like I am bound to the floor and I cant walk away. I need a lot of help.
By Sonia on Aug 25, 2006
Sonia, you aren’t bound to the floor. You forgot how to act, maybe.
Do you have any idea where the guilt about eating comes from?
By Darren on Aug 25, 2006
Hey Sonia, first off thank you for your post. It takes guts to express yourself so openly and admit you have an issue that you need to deal with. You’ve certainly come to the right place because you are not alone, I’m walking right besides you and so are many others. You might not realize this, but you have just started a support group. By coming here and speaking so freely about your feelings, other people like myself are comforted and encouraged, knowing that there are other comrades on the front lines with us. I think if you read the columns here, you can get some good advice. Start off by changing your mind set. You are strong and courageous, but so steeped in your weight problem that you’ve become emotionally paralyzed. I’ve been there myself and still have to battle with it. The feeling of paralysis is very real and it truly immobilizes us. Start by thinking back to when you started gaining weight as a child. What was the catalyst? By starting at the root of the problem, you can understand and begin to take steps to resolve the issue. Thank you for the support that your post has given me. I’m here to support you as well.
By Rhonda on Aug 25, 2006
Hey Rhonda, Hey Darren,
Thanks so much for your comments. They mean so much to me. I will answer both questions the best way I can and I hope you will understand. Just like Rhonda had written in one of her posts; My appetite & weight gain started raging after constant nagging from my mum and my aunt to eat. I never ate much as a child. I was told over and over that I had to finish my meals. The guilt that there were people living in poverty and less than a meal a day worked on me and I ate as much as I could all the time. I never said no and as a result, I gained a lot of weight. By age 13, I was 20 pounds overweight and i have never gone back down. I lost my dad when I was 6 years old, and I knew I was psycologically broken. I was not okay but I did not know how to deal with it. My life had drastically changed and I had a father that loved me dearly just disappear. I would say that was when I started my bad eating habit. I may have never realised it but it may have been the catalyst. When I turned 8, I found comfort in a lot of junk food. My mum never let me eat sugary candy or drinks so I sought junk food instead which my mum was not so strict about. To this day, I can live without candy, sodas and cakes & pastries. Fried food was my downfall. All the burgers, fries, chicken wings I could eat were at my disposal. Every time I had the chance to eat this foods I would make sure I ate it. Up to this point, at 27 years of age, I keep thinking about when I can get my next filling of junk food. I also became an alchoholic and a smoker, starting with just a little drink occassionaly and a pack of cigarettes a month to everyday drinking and smoking. My body has no limit. I suffer physically and emotionally. I am considered to be a very pretty woman, but most people look at me thinking that I can look better without a 38 inch stomach. Everytime I am home, I try to find things to do, and I end up eating out of boredom. This is a sick way to live. I am doing all I can to change this habit. For the first time in my life, I feel I need to control my life. I have always feared change, I feel like it is taking all my strength. I will need all the strength I can get to change my lifestyle. I cried when I found this website because I finally found a place where I can discuss my weight issues. I have had no one to talk to about my weight all my life. I have always felt that I would be judged. I know I was being so hard to myself. And I hope that with this website I can find all support possible to make my goal be reality. Thank you Rhonda & Darren.
By Sonia on Aug 25, 2006
Congratulations Sonia. You have recognized the root of your problem and can now begin to change the way you look at food. The fact that you had the guts to examine yourself and come here and be so open, says that you are ready to do what it is you’ve wanted to do for a long time. The problem with psychological programming is that its hard to reverse. The best way is instead of trying to straighten out a crooked path, start a new one. I’m going to be doing this with you. Let’s stop thinking about dieting, since obviously that doesn’t work so well. Let’s begin thinking in terms of feeling better and becoming more healthy. We also have to start looking at ourselves in a different way. Tomorrow, my column will focus on becoming your own best friend. I’m very proud of you. You’re a strong woman and a great example to me and others. Kudos - Rhonda
By Rhonda on Aug 25, 2006
Hey Rhonda,
Thank you so much. I believe I am on my way too. This is going to be one hell of a journey. I do not see it as a diet either. I see it as a change of lifestyle. Changing the way I live to make my life even much easier. I am looking forward to all your posts which I will be checking everyday. I know I’ve been changed and I feel so much better to let out some things that have bothered me for a long time. I will be following all the steps that are submitted. I will be completely honest and I hope I will start my journal here and keep it updated and you can see the progress I am making and where I would be going wrong. Thank you Rhonda, Darren & Heather.
By Sonia on Aug 26, 2006
Sonia,
Glad to hear you actually feel better. You really should. You can defintely get the things you want in life.
By Darren on Aug 26, 2006
You go Momma!!! That positive attitude will take you far and is an inspiration to me and the others who read this. Thank you for sharing. - Rhonda
By Rhonda on Aug 26, 2006